What should we know about Fooderia?
Sometimes when a much-loved business moves on, something slides in to fill the same gap. Not so with the new heir to Capel Street’s wholesome bakery Camerino, whose column of Bridgestone plaques has been replaced with the declaration - “we make food porn”.
You get the sense Fooderia will be looking at disgusted one-star Google reviews thinking mission accomplished. “No publicity is bad publicity” is almost certainly the marketing strategy, along with a bet on appreciative passing trade - opening across from Pantibar mid-Pride wasn't a coincidence. We snuck in during one of the weekend’s quieter interludes, and even then staff were struggling to keep up with those lured in by the sights, smells and occasional shrieking that comes with - whisper it - sexy waffles.
What should we have?
A seat, for starters, if you’re of a sensitive persuasion. The neon aubergine emoji you'll see on entry is probably the least conspicuous item among the smutty décor scattered through Fooderia.
It’s a fair reflection of the menu’s laser focus on intimate bits, broken into three pun-riddled sections of dongs, vags and fanny toasts - the first two suggestively-shaped waffles, the third a sandwich we’d love to know where they got the press for.
We took a dong and a vag, but something told us to try the dong first - it just didn’t seem likely to last as long. The little drizzle of condensed milk is a fine piece of attention to detail, a real icing on the co—CAKE. These are hefty numbers served steaming hot and not shy about toppings, though the “Blue Balls” made for a mess almost as soon as we touched it. On point.
If the dongs are about the size and the shape, the vags rely more on details, so it’s something of a shame most come so slathered in toppings you won’t turn heads walking down the street with one. We tried the “Queen B****”, and while its rich white chocolate and mini gummies added a lot of flavour, they also obscure a lot of finer details.
Lucky then that the fanny toasts don’t hold back on that front - if you’re here to appreciate the craft, as we know many of you will be, this is the way to go. Curiosity drove us to the rainbow cheese, with its orgasmic burst of colour, but photo-friendliness won out over flavour - it tastes as synthetic as it looks. We reckon the sweet varieties are a better bet.
The usual teas and coffees are here (an iced latté was solid) along with 'tailored hot chocolate', like 'The Grinder' with white chocolate, bubble gum syrup, whipped cream and edible glitter - way too sweet for our tastes, but not sure what we were expecting.
Why should I go?
We’re honestly surprised Dublin didn’t already have one of these, given the wealth of tourists it attracts, but we’re glad it at least came to a pedestrianised street safe from the routes of those hen party pedal tours. Praise be, for the wagonfuls of willy waffle-waving women we’ve been spared.
We will give Fooderia credit for committing to the cause. Where many of these kinds of cafés can just be cash-grab gimmicks with more novelty than flavour, the menu suggests a team that know their way around a … waffle.
Fooderia
158 Capel Street, Dublin 1
